One of the things I learned from my late stepmother is that she didn’t mind her business. Yes, you heard me right. My late stepmother was that rare soul who refused to look away when things went wrong.

In today’s world, people are quick to chant the proverb: “Bá mi nà ọmọ mi, ko de inu olomo.” (Help me discipline my child? Never!). The idea of correcting another person’s child is now seen as an invitation to trouble. But back in the days of my stepmother, that proverb was meaningless. She did not believe in minding her business when it came to values, discipline, and the well-being of those around her.

I am not saying people should not mind their business. It all depends on the area where you are minding your business.

She was the kind of woman who would see a child going astray and intervene, even if that child was not hers. If she spot a young boy disrespecting an elder, she would call him out: “Come here, young man! Is this how you were raised?” She would speak the truth, back to back, without fear or favour. It didn’t matter if the child’s mother frowned or the father grumbled. To her, wrong was wrong, and silence in the face of wrong was even worse.

She particularly hated disrespect. Why growing up, I remembered she was the one that stopped some of my younger ones from calling me by name without adding ‘Aatii’ which is a respectful Yoruba term for female elders, she addresses issues immediately. She wouldn’t wait for tomorrow to come before correcting disrespectful behaviours. To her, respect was fundamental, and she made sure we understood that.

This wasn’t just limited to children. She would correct adults too, questioning unethical behaviours, confronting injustices. In her eyes, a person’s immediate family did not define their responsibility to society. We were all part of a larger family, and keeping quiet about what was wrong meant being complicit in it.

But in today’s society, this kind of boldness is almost extinct. People now tread carefully, afraid of stepping on toes. Why should I correct someone else’s child? What if their parents insult me? So, we turn our faces the other way, we walk past wrongdoing, and we let children grow wild because “it’s not our business.” My stepmother never subscribed to that philosophy, and now I realize how valuable her stance was.

Nowadays, correcting a child doesn’t go down well with their mother, especially because of what our society is turning into and the way people wickedly correct other people’s children. However, when someone corrects a child with love, we should not take it as an offense. It is for our own good and for the child’s benefit.

This lesson I learned from her has taught me that when we see something wrong, we need to address it with goodness and God’s happiness.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing mothers out there! May your love and wisdom continue to shape generations to come. Amen

Written and Illustrated by Omolola Funmilayo Edokpayi

The post ONE OF THE LESSONS LEARNED FROM MY LATE STEP MUM first appeared on ArtPreachiate.

The post ONE OF THE LESSONS LEARNED FROM MY LATE STEP MUM appeared first on ArtPreachiate.

1. EMOTIONAL DISTRESS: Children may feel abandoned, neglected, and unloved and can develop lifelong emotional distress and trust issues.
2. BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS: Children may experience behavioural problems like low self-esteem, delinquency, substance abuse, academic problems, aggression, and depression.
3. FINANCIAL ISSUES: Father’s absence may lead to financial instability, poverty, and homelessness in the family.
4. RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS: The absence of a father may hinder the development of a child’s relationship with their family and peers.
5. HEALTH PROBLEMS: Studies have found that children with absent fathers are more likely to suffer from chronic illnesses, developmental problems, and physical injuries.
6. SOCIAL ISSUES: Fatherlessness is also linked to social issues like crime, teenage pregnancy, and substance abuse.

Therefore, fathers need to fulfil their role in their child’s life for their proper growth and development.

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The post What happens when one neglects his role as a father? appeared first on ArtPreachiate.